Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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