I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Can i not drive my cunt home
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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