people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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