I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
