we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
