Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I need a beard to bite.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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