so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
