Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
