naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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