Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
