Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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