wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My vagina just clenched in fear
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
