i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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