You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
