its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
