I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
