google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
