He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize