with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
