adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
