I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
