Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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