it's too hot outside to masturbate.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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