I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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