Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
