have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
