I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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