i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
