There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
