so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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