She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
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Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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