Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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