Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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