she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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