Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
