All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
