a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
