If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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