someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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