I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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