well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My life is pants optional.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
