that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
