And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize