who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
