to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
