your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
