dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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