Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
