I feel great
I just peed on a car
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
