my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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