It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
