Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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