Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
