we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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