So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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