I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
