I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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